Many of you don’t know this but in my early years I spent a great deal of time writing. I had notebooks filled with stuff that I wrote. Eventually I met someone and married them and I just stopped writing. The inspiration wasn’t there. When I separated from him I tried so hard to write, but it just wouldn’t come. In my frustration I actually destroyed most of my notebooks, and only recently found one that had been packed away. I never thought I would write again… Then someone came into my life and they seemed to ignite my desire to write again. I have said before that everyone has a reason to be in each of our lives, and in some weird way they became a muse for me. Regrettably they are no longer in my life, but to completely ignore the mark they made would be foolish and unfair. I don’t know if they will even realize how grateful I am to them for this gift because it truly is a gift. Writing has allowed me to find my voice when from time to time I lose it among the hustle and bustle of the world. I now carry a notebook around with me and find myself writing in it at some of the strangest times. Being able to write again is healing me in ways that I never imagined. So to them all I can say is thank you for they have touched my life in ways they could never imagine.
This is the first poem I have written in close to 15 years…. It is a little rough and it is definitely dark, but it is a start…
Reflection
I stand looking in the mirror
Consumed with fear
Haunted by ghosts of the past
And I only wonder who this person is looking back at me
This can’t be me I say
The girl with the sad eyes
This can’t be me I say
The girl with a forced smile
Regret chokes me
And I lean in for a closer look
This can’t be me I say
The girl with ice burning within her heart
This can’t be me I say
The girl who views the world with jaded eyes
Misfortune and heartache has taken its toll
This can’t be me I cry
As the tears slowly fall from my eyes
This can’t me I cry
Lost and with no idea of where to go
Yet my reflection says nothing
It only stands there and smiles back at me.
My reflection… it only troubles me
OMG I got goosebumps reading your poem. When reading your blog, I actually said outloud, "Awww" when I read you had destroyed most of your journals. I am so glad you have found the desire to write again! You are sooo right in saying everyone comes into our life for a reason! They don't always stay because they have served their purpose to us. Keep writing, my friend!!! Love you
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